I woke up today with my heart racing. Pounding, really, as though it were trying to beat its way out of my chest. I don't remember any dreams. Just my body telling me I was in danger. But I wasn't. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 6:26 a.m. An hour before my alarm.
With my heart pounding, my mind started bringing up thoughts of the things “I should do” or “ I need to do” which then quickly spiraled into catastrophizing thoughts and future renditions of hard, painful or simply bad things happening. All within minutes of waking up.
I took a slower, deeper breath.
I took another one.
This slowed my heart down.
I focus on my breath. This is my anchor.
My mind wants to take off – I can feel the edginess of it.
I stay with one more.
My body calmed a bit – but my mind? My mind takes off like unbridled horses in a chariot race.
Then I remember an article I read about how gratitude can help with anxiety.
I start with one thing - acknowledging one thing in my life I am grateful for. I pause. I I visualize what that one thing is – I smile – I sit in that feeling for just a moment.
It feels good.
So I try another. I pause.
I visualize.
I feel my chest expand.
I breathe in. I let myself take it in.
It feels really good.
Something shifted. My body actually relaxes – my shoulders drop, my jaw unclenches, my breathing steadies.
What about those unbridled horses, you ask?
Oh, they were absolutely still there. Running in the background of my mind.
But something else was there, too.
Gratitude.
And that's when I was reminded of something important: I can hold both emotions simultaneously.
I can be deeply grateful for how my daughters are showing up in the world AND feel anxious about what the future holds for them.
I can appreciate the life I've built AND worry about what lies ahead.
I can feel contentment AND uncertainty.
One feeling doesn't have to cancel out the other.
We sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that if we're grateful, we shouldn't be anxious. Or that acknowledging the good things in our lives should somehow make our worries disappear.
We might even use gratitude to talk ourselves out of what we're feeling:
"I have so much to be grateful for. Why am I still anxious?"
But gratitude isn't meant to invalidate our anxiety. It isn’t the antidote to anxiety. And anxiety doesn't take away from the good in our lives.
Both can be true.
From a nervous system perspective, this makes sense. Our brains and bodies are capable of holding multiple emotional experiences at once. We can recognize and appreciate what is meaningful in our lives while simultaneously feeling uncertain or anticipating something difficult.
And perhaps the invitation isn't to make one feeling disappear, but to expand our capacity to make room for both.
I can acknowledge my anxiety without letting it take over the entire landscape of my experience.
I can make space for gratitude without requiring myself to feel happy or positive all the time.
I can move between one and the other.
I can choose, at times, where I place my attention.
Not because I can control every thought or feeling that comes my way, but because I can gently bring myself back to what is here, what is meaningful, and what is available to me in this moment.
And sometimes, that starts with one breath.
One pause.
One thing I'm grateful for.
A little invitation for you:
The next time you notice anxiety showing up, rather than trying to push it away, see if you can make room for it.
Then, gently ask yourself:
What is one thing I can appreciate in this very moment?
Pause. Visualize it. Notice what happens in your body.
You don't need to force a feeling. You don't need to make your anxiety disappear.
Just notice.
You might discover that gratitude and anxiety can sit beside one another.
And that there is room for both.
Gratitude isn't meant to invalidate our anxiety. And anxiety doesn't take away from the good in our lives.
With warmth,
Tina
Soulshine Sanctuary
Come home to yourself. Shine forward.
